Chapter 41: Abstinence & Lies

-Chapter Forty One-

Abstinence & Lies

(Akshant Narrates)

I had committed the divine sin for the first time with Anamika in Kodaikanal. Then it was at Agra and other places too with Anamika being the sole partner. I was completely pure till then from my heart. But my destiny had written something else for me.

All four of us had their dinner together that night. Gurleen was grateful to me for saving Nitin’s life. But she couldn’t find any good way of thanking me. An evil idea came to her mind. She knew Nitin would sleep after the supper that night because his medicines for healing the wounds would be inducing sleep. She wrongly thought that she could only thank me enough by committing the evil sin with me, by seducing me to have sex with her. That was selfish and mean at her part to think so, because I didn’t love her any longer and I was faithful to my fiancée. As we started dining, Gurleen intentionally sat opposite I on the dining table in the restaurant.

She wore a body-hugging shoulder-jacket on an apparently shoulder-less red top, mini skirt and sandals and was looking very voluptuous that warm July evening. She was giving me the looks which I noticed but ignored them thinking it to be my own imagination. Then she did the most unexpected thing to me, she removed her sandals and then she raised her right foot to touch my groin area. I was caught off-guard by this incursion into my privacy and winced upon Gurleen’s leg reaching my groin from the opposite side under the table. Gurleen retracted her leg and I too tried to parlay any suspicions from the other two by saying that the food was too hot for being German. Anamika said, “Sometimes this can happen even here in Germany, dear.”

I developed on the unintended lead provided by Anamika and said, “Yeah, I dunno why these hot chillies are imported when they are not grown here in Germany… Only if I had the power, I would’ve genetically modified chillies to taste like chocolates, my favourite food article.” I then stared at Gurleen who just smiled like Nitin and she acted as though nothing had happened between her and I.

Anamika suggested that I should drink some water and served me some water herself. I observed Gurleen who had not raised her neck all this while, was showing her face and winked her right eye at me while smiling devilishly for the shortest time period. She was sitting to the right-hand side of Nitin and as Anamika was busy in dining so neither of the other two observed this action of Gurleen.

I then simply continued eating my dinner silently. Gurleen who had been encouraged by my words again started doing the same thing after Anamika got busy in dining again. This time she was stopped indirectly by Nitin who was busy all this while thinking about the news report he had to prepare from an economic angle and decided to ask me for the graph from my presentation comparing fuel economy in case of neat diesel along with the same in case of biodiesel. He said now facing me, “-uh- Akshant, can I ask for a favour from you please?”

“Yeah, tell me, I’ll see if I can help you?” I said.

“Akshant, I need that graph comparing fuel economies given by biodiesel engine and neat diesel engine for my Economic Times article covering the Deutsch Biodiesel summit. And also the major problems faced by biodiesel industry. Can you please mail a copy to me?” requested Nitin.

After giving it a bit of thought, I agreed to mail just that one graph to him because I had committed many other graphs which compared both diesel and biodiesel to Anamika who would be publishing the same graph along with the others in her regular science column in ‘The Hindu’. I also told me that I wanted my name to be mentioned clearly under the graph on the page in the newspaper. Nitin readily agreed to the condition put by me thinking it wasn’t a big price at all for such a significant graph comparing the fuel consumptions of both the conventional diesel engine and the new unconventional biodiesel engine using the newer biodiesel.

Nitin exchanged contact details with me and the email id on which I would mail me the fuel-economy graph. By now our dinner was complete and we were all walking back to our rooms with Anamika and Gurleen supporting us. They were chatting on the way back. The noise of a washing machine was filling the background.

Gurleen asked Anamika, “Would you be sleeping now? Coz I’m not sleepy at all and as Nitin’s going to sleep after taking his medicines, it’s gonna be boring for me. Can we chat for a few minutes, Anamika?”

“No, I am too sleepy. Akshant takes the medicine and doesn’t sleep even though these medicines are known to induce sleep even in the toughest of soldiers. I dunno from where he brings this much stamina to stay awake even after such a tiring day… He has been so ever after the accident in May 2010. Though, he’d yawn all day long after staying up all that time in the night. Actually, he dreads the nightmarish dreams – he’s still a kid – while sleeping and I won’t make me sleep today if he doesn’t want to. Yeah, I wouldn’t mind me spending time with you, coz I really trust him, dunno about your guy allowing you but I myself am gonna ask I to spend some time with you so that you two can catch up with what both of you lost in time. I’ll ask your man if he has any objections.” Anamika said a lot of words and ended it with a smile that I thought distantly hinted disagreement.

Then suddenly Anamika called out to Nitin, “Nitin I wanna suggest you something please,” Nitin, who was moving along me, was also startled by her voice just like me.

Nitin turned, “Yes Anamikaji, tell me, your words are all welcome.” He said courteously.

“Uh – Nitin, you won’t mind if Gurleen spends some of her time in my room with me and I? The two of them can have a catch-up if they feel like coz she’s not feeling too sleepy either and doesn’t want to disturb you while you would be sleeping peacefully under the medicines’ effect but Akki himself would not be sleeping I think and she says you might oppose to her spending some time in my room.” replied Anamika.

I heard that first and was going to say no but Nitin’s words cut my sentence too short to be understood by anybody, Amit said faking a slightly aggressive manner, “Why are you defaming me Gurleen darling? Have I ever stopped you from talking to any man or woman? – no Anamika, I don’t have any problem, the choice is hers.” replied Nitin smilingly.

“See Gurleen, didn’t I tell you that he’d agree to let you spend some time in my room; after all, he loves you!” said Anamika in an excited voice.

Gurleen managed to fake a forced smile and just said, “Yeah…” with that smile.

I interjected unexpectedly, “Hullo? Am I not going to be asked about what do I think…? Well – I’ll tell it myself then; if my Ana has made a new friend and the new friend’s fiancée too doesn’t seem to mind it, why would I be putting an objection to it?” and I smiled too.

“Okay dude, I’ll go now, will have my medicines and go to sleep. Is there anything that you wanna say?” said Nitin.

“No Nitin, I don’t have anything much to say other than that I wish you a good night and wish that ‘you’ get sweet dreams, we’ve had a tiring time ever since that incident in the flight and I wish that you may not get any nightmares about the cause of this injury. Sleep well,” and as I said that, I was wincing with every other step.

“Yeah, thanks I and I wish the same for you – and ah! Gurleen – here have this spare key of the room coz I might’ve slept when you come back – and I won’t want to get disturbed then.” said Nitin.

Then Gurleen followed me and Anamika up to our room after leaving Nitin at their room on the ground floor.

As I sensed something wrong was going to happen, I didn’t say a word. Anamika guided me by the hand with Gurleen at my tail to our hotel room. Though she herself didn’t mind Gurleen, she did mind my ex-girlfriend but she did feel bit of insecurity which was but natural and was evident from the way she was behaving with me, pulling as close as possible for the last twenty minutes. I said to Gurleen as we walked down the stairs, “I’ve got to say something private to Ana, would you mind giving us a bit of privacy please?”

Gurleen stepped five stairs down. Then I said to Anamika in a really low lovely voice, “Ana! Come on baby! Be possessive – I love it – but don’t be insecure. I am yours only, whose else am I – that Gurleen is here because you yourself called her as she would get ‘bored’ sitting awake in her own room with Nitin? Don’t be afraid, afraid to lose control. Anamika – you are holding my hand too tight – shall I ask her to go back to her own room?”

“No, you needn’t do that. I am sorry that I was getting falsely insecure.” said Anamika.

Then the three of us moved separately and though limping, I was not being supported by Anamika, she just let me hold onto her soft hand. We reached my and Anamika’s room on first floor. Here, Gurleen asked for the keys and insisted on opening the door. I had the medicines and all three of us chatted for an hour or so before Anamika said that she was feeling sleepy and that the two of us could chat outside the room if we were not finished with their catch-up.

When Gurleen said that she would like to take a stroll outside in the lawn with me talking about what we had missed out about each other’s lives, Anamika insisted that I should go with Gurleen, I reluctantly said, “Okay, if you say so, Ana.”

Then after me & Gurleen were outside and had reached a place more than normal human hearing could reach, the first thing that I said to Gurleen in a slightly rough tone was, “Now you are going to tell me why you were touching me at all the wrong places with your foot when we were dinning.”

“Okay, I won’t beat around the bush. The only thing that I think bothered you is that I used my foot. I think you want me to use my hand and my mouth.” said Gurleen coming closer to my face and her hand going down to my pants on which I was infuriated seeing which Gurleen came closer and tried to kiss me.

I pulled my face backwards and pushed Gurleen away saying, “You need to see a doc, coz I can certify that you are mentally unstable – you’re behaving like a mad woman!”

And as Gurleen heard this, she started unbuttoning her jacket and threw it onto my face in a threatening way saying, “Do you know why I ditched you, because I wanted someone who could satisfy my hunger and quench my thirst when you were injured and could not even meet me – oh shit! What I have done!” Gurleen then got rid of her sweater.

I instantly said, “What are you doing, please wear your clothes back again!”

“I am sorry Akshant… Punish me! Be hard with me, push me hard, do something which we missed out on when we were together. I touched you at wrong places, then you too should touch me at all the right places, may be that way I’ll learn some morals. Press me! Feel me!! Finish me!!!” and then she removed her t-shirt with a tug to eventually remove it and ultimately bare her upper body which was without any underwear and her hands proceeded to her pants, I lost my mind temporarily that the words, “I never knew you were so beautiful,” just slipped out of my mouth. Then realizing my mistake I immediately turned my back on her saying with my face towards the hedge saying, “Stop it. I am not going to see it any further. You are mad! You are evil, pure evil! Since when did you become like this? I am going!”

Now Gurleen put both her arms on my shoulders from my back and as I turned, I looked into the eyes of the tigress and then I gave up, hypnotized by the eyes, still knowing that I could escape the tigress. The tigress then attacked the prey on its neck softly; prancing upon it and making it fall down on to the ground. I felt myself fall in the hedge with the tigress in a position right near my neck. I felt the lips on my lips, the tongue of the tigress making its way into my mouth as smartly as a female serpent and then I lost myself in the oblivion for few seconds thereafter. Gurleen then took hold of my left hand and pulled it to her bosom.

On contact with her skin, I opened my closed eyes and pushed her aside immediately. I decided that I must practice abstinence and refrain himself from proceeding in the wrong direction. I just pushed her aside, rose up from the ground, stood up and started to go away swiftly without even caring to look behind. Gurleen must have felt rejected. She tried to stop me but I was too strong for her now, and had regained my full body control.

“Please stop, Akshant! Don’t leave me in this situation. I want you!” said Gurleen in a pathetic tone like a kid demanding a toy, close to tears now.

I didn’t turn on this, I kept going and instead I said to the wind intending Gurleen to listen to it, “I would better be sending your Mr. Dhaliwal to satisfy you!”

Gurleen heard this and started apologizing immediately. She rose gathered her clothes roughly to veil all the private parts of her luscious body, then she caught up with me few meters away and then fell down to my feet holding it firmly and said, “Please don’t tell him, please. I was just lost. I was not serious at all. Please don’t tell him. I don’t want to lose him. Akshant I beg of you!”

I stopped, shook released my leg to turn around and say with force in a whisper, “Stop pretending you cheapster! Did you really think I would go and talk to that man? No, I wouldn’t, that man is not eligible for my words. But our meeting is over. Don’t dare to dog me or follow me or talk to me ever again. Good bye!”

Even though she moaned my name thrice, I moved on and on till I reached back to my room floor. There I reached the washroom, as I readjusted myself in the clothes; I smelled my jacket and shirt. I was alerted by the smell of Gurleen’s ladies perfume from the shirt. I quickly climbed down the stairs to the ground floor and went to the hotel gift shop.

As lucky as I could be, there was a deodorant section there in that shop which was open in the night and I bought a men’s deodorant and sprayed it all over myself then I didn’t discard it, but I brought it to my room instead planning it to be my libido in case Anamika inquired about the smell. I also bought a big diary with hearts printed on the cover which was also available in the gift shop, intending to gift it to Anamika. She did have a habit of writing long and short poems, Haikus – a Japanese format for short poems.

And when I reached to my room back, Anamika did ask about the scent, “You took some twenty minutes, you must sleep and what’s this – a gift? How sweet! I always wanted a diary – wait a minute. Hey, what’s this peculiar smell coming from your clothes, as though you sprayed ladies’ perfume too prior to testing a men’s deodorant?”

“Oh that! I did spray a ladies’ perfume prior to testing this men’s deodorant.” I tried to lie.

“And why is that?” Anamika started interrogating me as if we had gotten married long ago already with suspecting narrowed eyebrows.

“I – I wanted to buy one for you. But I bought this large diary for you instead.” I said lamely.

“The diary is nice – I can use it to write my occasional poems and as my virtual friend during your official trips which are always imminent in the coming years but I never imagined you to be so dumb Akshant – you tested a ladies’ perfume on your own body! Really I can hardly believe it, but still, I believe you. And thank god you didn’t buy the perfume, because I do not like this smell at all – and my dear Akshant, you don’t have to stick to the purely conventional Indian ways here in Germany – you don’t have to spray a ‘ladies’ deodorant all over yourself just about to any land you go.” said Anamika dismissively and I breathed silently in relief.

“Yeah, I thought so too that you won’t like the smell. And I did no more than leaving Gurleen to her floor after the small chat of five minutes we had just because you wanted.” I told a lie, building on my false story with the unintended hint given by Anamika.

“Okay, I see – now just take your medicine and please sleep – we have to go back to India tomorrow morning!” said Anamika in a hurry.

I then obediently took the medicine like a little kid and then they both went to sleep that night. This way with several well-rehearsed lies I did manage to avert any more suspicions from Anamika. That period of 15 minutes was going to remain a secret from Amit as well as Anamika for a long time.

We woke up early next morning and got ready for catching the flight back to New Delhi where I and Nitin were welcomed in the evening by a 20 member committee of the National Security Guards from the nearby Delhi centre who suggested that both Nitin & I should avail the security provided by the Government of India. Many people told both of us to at least avail the critical witness protection provided by the government after all what we had been through.

But I politely rejected the offer and said that no one would require extra security if the Indian Army rout out Shuddha Rakht in its operations, and similarly Nitin said that he would rather be safer in the security of the capital and this way, he too politely rejected the offer of security by the government.

Anamika told me in an undertone, “You are full of attitude, but I love your attitude!”

“Let’s take this debatable topic to home,” I said with finality.

Then both me and Nitin were received outside the airport with garlands by a fifty-men strong company of the Delhi Police and a local legislative assembly member who was there probably because he knew that the thirsty shutterbugs would love to snap him ‘receiving’ the heroes with the garlands.

“Mr. Akshant & Mr. Nitin your bravery is well recognized by the authorities and it was really worthwhile how you both prevented a mishap. The government wishes to provide ample security to both of you,” the superintendent of National Security Guards said.

“No sir, thank you very much but it’s more required for by our farmers, the housemaids and other people from lower strata being aimed by the terrorists. I refuse to have any dedicated gunman for my personal security,” was my reply and it invited few more claps.

“I agree with Akshant in this matter,” said Nitin admiringly looking at me. He further said, “Otherwise too, I have the security of NCR with me. The government should focus on uprooting this malignant trouble.”

All this while Gurleen remained silent and no mention of the incident from the other night was done by any one of them to anybody.

All of us then left for their respective homes in Mathura Refinery Township and Delhi where Gurleen and Amit had bought themselves a flat in a condominium at a popular posh locality of South Delhi after selling Amit’s parental house in old Delhi after his parents’ untimely death in a car crash.